Sunday, March 7, 2010

Online Dating Liars are People Pleasers?

"Online dating liars: Why they do it"
CNN (March 5, 2010)

"Worried that the 27-year-old man making $70,000 as profiled on an online dating service isn't so young or taking home that much cash?

"Chances are he's telling the truth if the site is geared toward long-term relationships.

"But if he's lying, he's probably a people pleaser -- the type of person who'd try to put himself in the best light even if you'd found him offline first, according to a University of Kansas researcher.

"In professor Jeffrey Hall's survey of 5,020 men and women...."

Oh-kay. A dude who lies to get chicks is a "people pleaser."

There's probably more to the study than that. I hope so, for the sake of whoever provided the funding, if nothing else.

By the definition given, I'm a "people pleaser," too: I 'try to put myself in the best light.' At least to the extent that I don't open conversations by telling how many operations it's taken to put me in working order, or the prescriptions I use to keep my brain running smoothly.

Let's face it: who in his or her right mind would start out by saying something like "hi, I have a family history of heart disease, graduated 124th in a class of 200, and drink too much carrot juice."

You may have met someone like that. I've run into a number of - remarkable - people over the last half-century or so. But seriously: there's a reason I brush what's left of my hair before going outside.

Oh, well: it's a pretty good article, with enough detail to be interesting for people who are interested in people. Which seems to be most of the human race. We're very social creatures.

Here's a sample, from around the middle of the article:

"...'The type of people who misrepresented themselves online is the same type of people who do so face-to-face,' Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies and the study's lead author, said by phone Thursday...."

Well, that's common sense: liars lie, wherever they are. On the other hand, it's an assumption that should be tested.

Bottom line? It's a pretty good read: and reports some findings that may - or may not - be a surprise.

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