Lemming Tracks: That's Not Santa

I'm not Santa Clause: but there's a reason for my not trimming my beard until after Christmas.

"My Christmas Beard"

ApatheticLemmingMinn, YouTube (December 25, 2011)
video, 1:37

Allegedly-related posts:

• "Lemming Tracks: Christmas With the Lemming"
  (December 16, 2011)
• "Angels, Shepherds, and All That"
  (December 25, 2009)
• " 'Joy to the World' and Flashing Lights"
  (December 22, 2009)
• "Christmas Trees, Queen Victoria, And Coleridge"
  (December 21, 2009)
• "A Tofu-Free Christmas Cake Recipe"
  (December 7, 2009)

Lemming Tracks: Energy Drinks, Common Sense, and 'There Oughtta be a Law'

"Energy Drinks May Hurt Kids: Study"
Randy Dotinga, Health, US News and World Report (February 14, 2011)

"Children with existing health or emotional issues most at risk, researchers say

"Energy drinks such as Red Bull, AMP and Rockstar have no health value and may even harm some children and teens, a new review finds.
Click here to find out more!

The increasingly popular, highly caffeinated drinks are especially risky for children with heart abnormalities, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or other health or emotional problems, said Dr. Steven E. Lipshultz, co-author of the study, published online Feb. 14 in the journal Pediatrics.

" 'It's a set of products that are totally unregulated and have no therapeutic benefit,' said Lipshultz, chairman of pediatrics at the University of Miami.

"Surveys suggest that 30 percent to 50 percent of U.S. teenagers and young people consume energy drinks, despite warnings about their safety. Many users mix the energy drinks with alcohol, further heightening the potential for ill effects, say the researchers...."

Something's Not Regulated?! SHOCKING!!!

The Lemming doesn't have much doubt that chugalugging a six-pack of Red Bull, with a beer chaser, might not be good for a teenager with heart problems.

For that matter, it might put someone in perfect health in a tad less than tip-top shape.

Credit where credit is due. US News lets someone besides the 'experts' have a say:

"...But the maker of Red Bull took issue with the findings.

" 'This article just draws together material from the Internet, and largely ignores in its conclusions the genuine, scientifically rigorous examination of energy drinks by reputable national authorities. For example, the European Unions food safety authorities spent 10 years thoroughly examining energy drinks and concluded that the key ingredients [taurine and glucuronolactone] are of no concern,' Red Bull officials said in a statement. 'The effects of caffeine are well-known, and as an 8.4-ounce can of Red Bull contains about the same amount of caffeine as a cup of coffee [80 mg], it should be treated accordingly.'..."

Does the Lemming think a steady diet of Red Bull, Mountain Dew, Twinkies, and deep fat fried pork rinds would be good for a teenager? Or anybody else?

No.

On the other hand, the Lemming is drearily familiar with folks who are incensed that others don't act they way they're 'supposed to.' And think that 'the government' should regulate what the rest of us eat, drink, watch, wear, and - if possible - think.

'For our own good,' of course.

The Lemming thinks that moderate degrees of physical activity and a diet that's long on complex carbohydrates, protein, and other parts of a sane diet is good for people. But the Lemming's not going to cobble together a 'scare' article to frighten folks into eating the 'right' way.

That's the sort of thing 'experts' do, it seems.

Almost-related posts:

• "Autism, Childhood Vaccines, Bogus Research, and the Lemming"
  (January 6, 2011)
• "Lemming Tracks: '8 x 8' Water Rule, Real Research; Beer and Pretzels"
  (November 27, 2010)
• "Lots of Lead and Cadmium in Kids' Tableware: Spiffy"
  (November 22, 2010)
• "Saving the Environment Makes You Sick"
  (September 28, 2010)
  • "Well, no: not exactly."
• "Tanning Beds, Addiction, and Pale Mutants"
  (April 21, 2010)
  

About "apathy," the Lemming's' way:

• "About the Lemming"

Promising the Kids They Could Chose Their Decor: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

"Kid-smart design Part 1: A room for all ages"
Washington Examiner (October 11, 2010)

"Like clothes, kids can grow out of their rooms quickly. She may like Sponge Bob today, but want a Barbie bedroom tomorrow.

"So when it comes to decorating a child's bedroom, the best advice is: Keep it classic.

" 'If you're going to spend the money to decorate, choose classic, not cartoon-y type fabrics,' said Page Palmer of Page Palmer Interior Design. 'Choose classic fabrics if you want the room to stay. Keep the fabrics more solid and the lines clean.'

"But that doesn't mean your child can't have style. A solid yellow wall and a pale pink bedspread could be accented by a Sponge Bob throw pillow or a Barbie beanbag chair...."

The Lemming's household hasn't had to worry about interior decoration on this scale: but this sort of thing is a real issue for some folks.

The article's mostly common sense observations, which the Lemming would suggest taking with a pinch of salt.

For example:

"...[Palmer Interior Design's Page] Palmer seconded the sentiment. 'Your child may want to have lavender or purple or even brown or black walls. I would let them express themselves. It's important to let them have input and work with what they choose.'..."

P. Palmer has a point. Particularly if a parent started out by giving the kid carte blanche about how the room would look.

On consideration, though, what the designer described was - interesting: a room with black walls, trimmed in gold, with silver fabrics and "lots of white." "Cosy" might not be the first word that comes to mind: but it sure would be distinctive.

Our Benevolent Rulers Protecting Us From Big Paperclip?!

This is not a political blog.

On the other hand, this item was so moonbat-crazy that the Lemming couldn't resist:

"EDITORIAL: Goodbye to chemistry sets"
Las Vegas Review-Journal (October 1, 2010)

"Here come the federal regulators

"Many an adult who today makes a good living -- and contributes to our standard of living -- as an engineer or scientist first had his or her enthusiasm for the field kindled by a home or classroom science kit.

"But as the modern nanny state gets busy, such inspiration may become a thing of the past.

"The Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act of 2008, known as CPSIA, requires extensive -- and expensive -- safety testing of products designed or intended primarily for children 12 years of age or younger, checking for lead, chemicals, flammability and other potential dangers.

"Now caught up in the Consumer Product Safety Commission's debate about the act's regulations are those classroom science kits and some of the items they contain -- including paper clips, used to show kids how magnets work...."

The Lemming acknowledges the need for regulation. There have to be rules about which side of the road we drive on, and whether or not it's okay to put poop in our food. (August 20, 2010, February 26, 2009)

This, however, looks - well, crazy.

Maybe it's not. Maybe there really is deadly peril lurking in science kits for kids. Maybe Big Paperclip really is behind this nefarious plot to jump-start the minds of America's youth.

No, really: there might be a hazard here.

Or, we might be looking at the sort of stupid thing that bureaucrats do when they come back from the golf course. It's not only government bureaucrats, in the Lemming's opinion. Just read Dilbert.

Good News From a Florida Swamp

"Missing 11-year-old girl found in central Fla."
The Associated Press (April 13, 2010)

"A missing 11-year-old central Florida girl with Asperger syndrome was found alive on Tuesday, four days after she disappeared into an alligator-infested swamp a half-mile from her suburban home.

"Nadia Bloom was taken to a hospital in nearby Longwood, Fla., where she will be evaluated and treated for dehydration and insect bites, said Winter Springs Police Chief Kevin Brunelle.

" 'If I never believed in miracles, I sure do now,' Brunelle said during an afternoon news conference.

"Brunelle said Nadia told rescuers two things: 'I'm glad you guys found me' and 'I can't believe you guys rescued me.'

"Her sister has said Bloom, who has an autism-related disorder called Asperger syndrome, may have gone into the dense woods hoping to make a nature video...."

If young Ms. Bloom had been planning to make a nature video, I hope she kept the camera and recording medium with her: and got some good footage.

I'm also very glad she made it out alive, of course.

A word about that "autism-related disorder called Asperger syndrome:" It's something that's been getting more attention lately, which is just as well. Although most (almost all, from what I've seen) discussion of Aspergers focuses on children with the symptoms.

Good thing, too: since although it can't be cured, it's possible to train people who have Asperger's to deal with it. Which I think is worthwhile. We're not stupid: we've just got brains that are wired a bit differently.

No typo: I meant to write "we." I'm getting evaluated this fall, to see where I stand on a number of continua which include ADD and Aspergers. It'd have been nice, if some of this had been caught a half-century ago - but the research hadn't been done then.

Back to Nadia Bloom: I'm happy that she's alive. But probably nowhere near as happy as members of her family are.

---

More, about Asperger's syndrome:

• "Asperger's syndrome | Definition"
  Mayo Clinic

Tracking Your Kid by GPS: The Horror! Or, Why Not?

"Would You Track Your Kid by GPS?"
GeekDad, Wired (January 11, 2010)

"Question: if you had the ability to track your child's every movement during the day, would you do so? Or is this an example of helicopter parenting taken to extremes? How about tucking a portable GPS unit in her backpack?

"Partaking in my Saturday morning ritual of coffee accompanied by a laptop to scan through the daily newspapers, I came across a Toronto Star article by reporter Robert Cribb, who has been testing the Entourage PS, a portable device offered by a Canadian company called Blackline GPS. (Wired reviewed an earlier version of this technology by the same company in 2008.)

"The twist on this one is that Robert used the GPS to track his 5-year-old daughter during her walk to school, slipping the GPS into her backpack, then monitoring it remotely (on his computer screen or Blackberry). The father in me definitely sees the appeal of this capability...."

Answering the question in the headline: Yes, I might. I'll get back to that.

The author discusses a particular commercial service and the technology it uses, along with some of the philosophical aspects: nothing particularly deep, but - I think - thoughtful.

Some of the more jittery 'privacy' (anonymity, really, it looks like) advocates have had fits over things like security cameras in convenience stores and on the street. By their standards, my "yes, I might" might brand me as a neonazi fascist pig.

That, I can live with.

Just a Little Rant

The way I see it, I've got the responsibility to - at a minimum - keep my kids alive until they hit 18. If a tracking device will help, and I can afford it: I'd probably use it.

The technology is available today: but the price is still to high for someone in my position.

About whether or not it's 'ethical' for a parent to give a damn whether a child lives or dies: that's another topic. I think it is, but I'll grant that I'm what some call 'old fashioned.'

As for a tracking device keeping children from running free, "as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows?" It tracks, it wouldn't keep the kids from going anywhere.

Children are kidnapped at a fairly steady rate, here in America, and the Jacob Wetterling snatch happened just down the road, by my standards.

Yeah, I'm a little more attentive to security concerns than I might be otherwise.

Wait'll You See the Sequel

We have technology that make it possible to have tracking chips in our pets which give you a readout on Fido's vital signs. (USA Today, April 23, 2003) These devices are strictly short-range now, as far as I know.

A few years from now, I don't see why a tiny device getting its power from the blood stream, just like our cells do, couldn't be made to react to 'pings' at a distance. Something like cell phones.

Ideally, they'd be inserted in the delivery room as routinely as we do blood tests now. Finding lost or kidnapped kids wouldn't be the crapshoot it is today.

Yes, there are issues that need to be resolved: social and legal rules, limits and sanctions would have to be developed. But I think the benefits outweigh the risks.

But then, I live in a small town. The old gag, 'if you don't remember what you did today, ask someone: they'll know' is pretty close to the truth here. I don't mind: being an anonymous face in the crowd was never high on my list of priorities.

As for tracking devices making us lose our freedom, our individuality, our very souls? We survived credit cards and Social Security Numbers: I think we can take on tracking chips.

Feline Ping Pong: A New Sport?

"ping pong cat"

mutleey, YouTube (December 13, 2008)
video, 2:00

"cat wants to play ping pong"

Lively music and two minutes of a black cat playing ping pong with two kids. The video has clearly been edited from raw footage - I'm pretty sure that a number of the sections are repeated. But it's fun to watch. Well, I enjoyed it: an you might, too.

It's probably too late for the 2012 London Olympics, but I think we may be looking on a fresh new variation on ping pong here: Ping pong with two players, a table, and a cat. Maybe it could be called feline ping pong. Or cat pong. That sounds weird. Maybe cing cong. No, that reminds me of Fay Wray.

All the Olympic committee needs to do is come up with an Olympic-standard cat, and we're good to go.

I've heard that the Olympics is about meeting and overcoming challenges: and what would be more challenging than a ping pong match, with the reputation of your country at stake, the whole world watching - and a cat trying to catch the ball?

Colby Curtin, 10, Sees UP on Her Last Day Alive

"Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up' "
The Orange County Register (September 6, 2009)

"Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing - a movie.

"From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

"After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue...."

On the off chance that someone will read this and try to call Pixar for a free movie, because their pet canary wants to see UP, read on:

"...At that point, Orum-Moore, who desperately wanted Colby to get her last wish, began to cold-call Pixarand Disney to see if someone could help.

"Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum-Moore said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum-Moore guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said...."

That was June 9, 2009, a Tuesday.

Understandably, "Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved." I'm sure they care about kids and all that: but also don't want anyone working for them to get flooded by calls from people wanting a free movie.

Someone from Pixar arrived at Colby's house the next day day: which was just as well, as things turned out. The Pixar employee had a DVD of UP, a bag of stuffed animals - characters in the movie - and a movie poster. Also "quirky background details of the movie".

Then, they watched UP.

Or, rather, everybody but Colby did. The pain from her cancer was too much for her, and she was keeping her eyes closed through the movie. Her mom gave her a play-by-play of the movie as it ran.

Finally, the employee left, taking the DVD with him.

Colby died at 9:20 that evening.

There's more detail about Colby Curtin and her dying wish to see UP in the Register article.

Bottom line about the article? It's a very nice writeup of part of Colby's last day. Not too gushy, in my opinion.

Why Didn't Her Mom Just Buy the DVD?

Colby was in no shape to go to the movie theater: and anyway, her mom hadn't been able to make arrangements for a wheelchair to carry her.

They could still have just bought the DVD, right?

Colby died during the second week of June, 2009.

"Pixar’s Up DVD Release Date Announced (+Blu-ray)"
IMDB.com (August 10, 2009)

"Coming to DVD and Blu-ray this Fall and right in time for Black Friday is Pixar's latest cinematic achievement, Up. On November 10, 2009, you can own either a four-disc Blu-ray Combo Pack or a two-disc DVD, which both include a digital copy of the film...."

By November 10, 2009, when the DVD was in stores, Colby had been dead for five months.

What About a Wheelchair?

Why not just go out, buy a wheelchair for the kid, and wheel her to the theater?

In the Orange County area, there's almost certainly a medical supply house that carries that sort of thing. And, you can get a pretty good pediatric wheelchair for just under $500. Rental should be quite a bit less than that - around $65 a week in Orange County. Which, for some households, is chump change. Others, not so much. ("Lemming Tracks: Lower Middle Class and Loving It" (December 14, 2009))

A Vigil, a Funeral Mass, and Hawaiian Attire

A (very) dated announcement was on the same page as the online article about Colby Curtin:

"VIGIL AND MASS FOR COLBY CURTIN:"
"A vigil will be held for Colby Curtin at 7:30 p.m. Friday at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Catholic Church, 1441 W. Balboa Blvd., Newport Beach. Hawaiian attire that is appropriate for church is strongly encouraged as a way to celebrate Colby's life. A funeral mass will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday at the church."

Related posts:

• "Cure for Cancer and Energy from the Sea? This Might Actually Work"
  (June 16, 2008)
• "Jayci, Jason Yaeger: Father and Dying Daughter Meet
  (March 27, 2008)

More:

• "Vigil recalls girl whose dying wish was to see 'Up' "
  The Orange County Register (September 6, 2009)

Frosty the Pornman: Was This the Best CBS Could Come Up With?

"CBS Dirties 'Frosty's' Snow"
Digital Journal (December 7, 2009)

"'Frosty the Snowman' has been altered by media giant, CBS, into a series of adult rated commercials. CBS crossed the children's show with two of their adult shows in a series of advertisements.

"Fox News is reporting that CBS has decided to re-cut scenes from the family classic, "Frosty the Snowman" with the voices of Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) and Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men). The results have Frosty talking about his adult movie collection. The entire time he is surrounded by a group of smiling happy children.

"The Neil Patrick Harris clip can be seen on Youtube

"John Tantillo of Fox News sees the damage being done on four levels; CBS, 'Frosty the Snowman,' 'How I Met Your Mother,' and 'Two and a Half Men.'

"Tantillo was quick to point out that CBS really runs the risk of causing injury to their audience. He says there is a chance, or in his words, 'good chance' that when children go to look up 'Frosty the Snowman' on the Internet they could find either of the two clips there. In that case instead of hearing about the wonderment of the holiday and winter they are going to hear two grown men discussing adult movies and women...."

There are quite a few ways of reacting to this, including:

1. Denial:
   • The news is on the FOXNews website, so it must be a lie
     • And probably some kind of conspiracy
2. Defense:
   • CBS is exercising its constitutional right to
     • Freedom of expression
     • Right to privacy
     • A whole lot of other stuff that's in the Constitution
       • Or oughta be
3. Resignation:
   • CBS is just following contemporary cultural values
     • Such as they are

Considering the myriad ways of the human mind, I'm sure there are many more alternative reactions.

Me? I'm somewhere between resignation and disgust. I've gotten used to this sort of adult, sophisticated humor over the last few decades. It's the sort of thing that's to be expected from the traditional major networks - and sophomore college boys, after a six-pack or two.

There's nothing much to be done about the situation: CBS is free to produce whatever, ah, programming they want, and market it any way they want. Presumably, they've either got rights to the old "Frosty the Snowman" content, or that remix falls within legal limits. Probably something to do with "satire," as recognized by the courts.

However, just as CBS is free to do what it wants, people who sit in front of television sets and go online are free to decide, too. Personally, I can think of quite a few things with more entertainment value than the CBS website. Princeton's WordNet online dictionary, for example. (That's my resource of choice for online definitions, BTW.)

And, if you have kids and haven't done this yet: You might consider letting them know that there are some really unpleasant people out there. And, while you're at it, figure out how to be around when your kids are online.

That last is easier for me than it is for most. I work at home, and have been blessed with a wife who knows how to raise kids - and kids who have stayed on speaking terms with both of us.

Why did the Lemming post this?

I figure that quite a few parents - and grandparents, uncles, aunts, whatever - remember the old "Frosty the Snowman" cartoon. And may not realize that CBS has created a more 'relevant,' 'adult' version this year.

That doesn't sound very "apathetic," does it? I wrote about the name, "Apathetic Lemming of the North," back in 2007. Basically, the Lemming has interests and concerns: but is "apathetic" in the sense that I'm not intensely, irrationally, worried sick about the "right" things.

Finally, it could have been worse, I suppose. CBS could have shot video of someone's backside, and mooned America. Actually, though, that might have been an improvement.

Oh, well.

More:

• "CBS' 'Frosty the Inappropriate Snowman' Ad Riles Critics"
  FOX 411, FOXNews (December 7, 2009)

Santa Letters Program Scrapped - Lower 48 Sex Offender SNAFU Blamed

"Grinch! North Pole irked at end to Santa replies"
The Associated Press (November 19, 2009)

"Starry-eyed children writing letters to the jolly man at the North Pole this holiday season likely won't get a response from Santa Claus or his helpers.

"The U.S. Postal Service is dropping a popular national program begun in 1954 in the small Alaska town of North Pole, where volunteers open and respond to thousands of letters addressed to Santa each year. Replies come with North Pole postmarks...."

The Santa letters program is a victim of the 'one bad apple spoils the whole barrel' principle.

"...Last year, a postal worker in Maryland recognized an Operation Santa volunteer there as a registered sex offender. The postal worker interceded before the individual could answer a child's letter, but the Postal Service viewed the episode as a big enough scare to tighten rules in such programs nationwide.

"People in North Pole are incensed by the change, likening the Postal Service to the Grinch trying to steal Christmas.

"People in North Pole are incensed by the change, likening the Postal Service to the Grinch trying to steal Christmas. The letter program is a revered holiday tradition in North Pole...."

"...North Pole Mayor Doug Isaacson agreed caution is necessary to protect children. But he's outraged North Pole's program should be affected by a sex offender's actions on the East Coast — and he thinks it's wrong that locals just learned of the change.

" 'It's Grinchlike that the Postal Service never informed all the little elves before the fact,' he said. 'They've been working on this for how long?'..."

I'm with North Pole's mayor on this. Yes, it's important - necessary - to protect children.

On the other hand, maybe the answer isn't to tell volunteers that they can't send letters "from Santa," because they might be sex offenders.

Excuse Me, The Lemming is Going to Rant

I realize that it may involves scrapping decades of dubious advances, but I think it's time to consider fixing a system that isn't delivering on its promise of a kinder, groovier world.

I'm tired of reading that recurring news item: the one about the repeat offender who decided to stop cooperating with the parole board. The name of the victim(s), the offender, and the location are different each time - but the pattern is all too familiar. It isn't just the judicial system, I think.

Values-free education, and generations of parents who were told - and sometimes believed - that they shouldn't tell their children about what the parents had discovered that worked, and what didn't.

As one dad said, "I did drugs, so I don't think I've got the right to tell my kids not to." That would be like me saying, "I had a serious drinking problem, so I don't think I should tell my kids that alcohol abuse can be a problem." One of the stronger arguments a parent could make, when kids come back with, "how would you know?" - is "I did it, and it wasn't a good idea."

Embarrassing? Yes. It's awkward to admit to something less than 100% perfection. But I haven't seen evidence that parenting is supposed to be easy.

That was close - this post almost went off on a tangent. Getting back on topic:

I'm genuinely sorry that the entire 'Santa letters' program had to be scrapped.

And no, this isn't very "apathetic" of The Lemming - which I've explained before.

The Balance Beam and "Potty Talk" - Parenting in the Real World

"Potty Talk"
The Balance Beam (October 18, 2009)

"Warning: This post may not be suitable for those who have never taken care of small children and/or those with a strong sensory gag reflex.

"Recently, I've regained the privilege of cleaning the soiled underpants of my four-year old son (aka 'Spiderman'). This task includes wiping his similarly smeared derriere of course.

"Lovely, right? My life is so glamorous.

"Oh, Spiderman was fully trained on the correct use of the facilities. In fact, ..."

I've said it before: parenting isn't for wimps.

This is a new blog to me, and looks like a very down-to-earth window on the sort of real-world issues the grown-ups in families face. Nothing big or "glamorous" here - just the sort of thing that needs to be cleared away before the fun side of family life can happen.

The Balance Beam's description/subhead is "Life Balance Strategy, Humor & Random Overshare"

I don't think you'll find "expert" opinions and insights in this blog. What I read of it seemed like common-sense observations and advice from someone who's actually seen kids in their natural habitat.

---

A tip of the hat to BeamingBalance, on BlogCatalog. I ran into her blog in a discussion thread about blog photos there.

Minnesota: Seventh H1N1 Death is First Grader in the Metro Area

"Swine flu vaccine arrives in Minnesota"
KARE 11 (October 7, 2009)

"As Minnesota reported its seventh death from swine flu complications Monday, a few hundred doctors and nurses began receiving the first doses of the vaccine health officials hope will slow the flu's spread through the state.

"The latest death was 6-year-old Nathan D. Schilling, who died Sept. 24 in an ambulance outside his house, the Hennepin County medical examiner's office reported. He had no underlying health issues.

"Rev. Steven Briel, the family's pastor at St. John's Evangelical Church in Corcoran, said the family told him Nathan had been hospitalized with the flu but was recovering and had been sent home shortly before he died.

" 'He's in Heaven with Jesus, and that's their comfort and hope,' Briel said of the family.

"Nathan was a first-grader in the church's school. Briel said the school is taking more precautions to prevent the spread of the swine flu, but has no plans to close.

" 'Our hearts go out to the family, Dr. Sanne Magnan, the state health commissioner, said in a statement announcing the death. 'For most people, the H1N1 flu is not severe; however, we know that children are especially vulnerable to this new virus.'

"Minnesota has recorded 327 hospitalized cases of swine flu. Of those, 138 were children under the age of 9, according to the Health Department...."

I first read about this sad news in the St. Cloud Times.

H1N1 is here in Sauk Centre, too. A friend of one of my kids has it - Can't say I'm happy about the situation.

Since children tend to be more susceptible to H1N1, I don't mind that they're 'way ahead of me in line to get the vaccine. I'm approaching old-cootdom, but (apart from diabetes and a few other factors) I'm in pretty good shape. And, I've got a lifetime of experience in not getting sick.

I've been around long enough to realize that 'it rains on the just and the unjust,' life isn't fair, or any of a number of other ways of expressing the idea that bad things occasionally happen to good people.

My prayers are with the parents and friends of Nathan D. Schilling.

As we say around here: Eternal rest grant to him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him.

List of posts relating to Swine flu 2009; and list of background resources:

• "Swine Flu 2009"
  • "Swine flu 2009 posts"
  • "Background and more information"
  • "WHO Alert Phases"
  • " 'Public Health Emergency' - What's That Mean? "

What Kids in the Car Shouldn't Have

"Five Things Not To Let The Kids Bring In The Car"
Brad Moon, GeekDad, Wired (August 24, 2009)

"Summer is drawing to a close (sorry, but it is) and it's time to tackle the dreaded chore of cleaning the vacation detritus collecting in our vehicles. I try to keep my truck reasonably tidy throughout the year, but when summer vacation season hits and the truck becomes the primary family wheels, it can be tough to keep up. The aftermath, come late August or September, can be grim. A typical fall cleaning session takes me an entire day with the vacuum, carpet shampooer, assorted scrubbers and cleaning potions and yields bags of dirt, sand, crumbs, pieces of broken toys and stray Pokemon cards. I've learned a few lessons along the way and I'm using that knowledge to produce my own list of banned items and substances with the goal of more pleasant road trips and easier fall cleanups. Needless to say, it isn't popular and I'll be the first to admit that it's quite possibly even more arbitrary than the TSA's Prohibited Items list...."

The Lemming is recovering from Monday morning, so please bear with me: and take my comments with a grain of salt. Or a shaker-full, to taste.

This post, on Wired's GeekDad feature, is one that I've run into for decades. Not the same words, of course, and the content is a bit different each time. But the 'what not to do on vacation' is a perennial favorite in some periodicals. This particular had a particularly nostalgic aura for me, since the author's writing style is suited to print format: with really long paragraphs.

I've learned that many online readers have the attention span of a caffeinated squirrel, so I try to keep paragraphs short. But I'm getting off-topic.

Back to the Micro-Review of a Veteran's Advice on Kids, Trips, Toys and Tribulations

The list of items, and discussion of why each should be verboten starts with:

"Those grabby pincer things they sell at all souvenir shops

"These plastic claw things are ubiquitous in gift shops, particularly zoo gift shops, for some reason, where they're usually fashioned so the grabby part resembles an animal's head. Robot hands are also a popular choice, and dinosaurs are always fair game...."

Next on the list is chewing gum. About which the author is quite correct: you do not want to get chewing gum in your hair. It's not a particularly advisable adjunct to the hair of any member of the family, when it comes right down to it.

Seriously? Taking this piece as a matter-of-fact bit of advice for parents of pre-teen kids, it's pretty good. Practical - and quite obviously written from experience. My wife and I have four surviving kids, and I recognize the situations.

There's a sort of bonus at the end: two items that parents should take with them on trips with the kids.

• Diaper wipes
• A lint roller

There's an explanation for why each of those items are handy. If you haven't discovered it already, there's a mess of off-label uses for diaper wipes.

I'd suggest taking your kid's personalities into account before pointing out just what those all-purpose cleaning sheets are, though.

Kids' Stuff: Games Kids Can Still Enjoy

"30 Classic Games for Simple Outdoor Play"
Jenny Williams, GeekDad, Wired (August 20, 2009)

"When I was a kid, we played outside with the other kids in the neighborhood with most of our free time. We also made the most of recess at school. We kept ourselves quite occupied without any of today's modern technologies. Listed below are some no-tech games that you may have enjoyed as a kid. I sure did. Some can be done indoors. Some can be done by yourself or with just one friend. But most of them are best when done outside with a group of people. Also, most of these games can be changed or improved by making up your own rules. Use your imagination!

"Hide and Seek: Everyone has played this one. Most parents have played with their kids, since hiding and finding is a common interest of small children. I've heard of all kinds of variations on this game...."

You're probably familiar with many of these games, but then again: maybe not. Not all the old childhood games survived America's 20th century, when families pulled up stakes at intervals to go where the corporation led. That may have been good for the bank account, but Johnny and Janey didn't always have time to get connected in the new school before they were off again.

Enough social commentary. The Lemming's 'apathetic,' you know. ;)

Bottom line first: This is a pretty good resource for reviewing (and maybe learning) childhood games. It's not comprehensive, of course: there isn't any mention of the ancient origins of hopscotch, for example.

Now, a little nit-picking. GeekDad describes as "no-tech games" - although some, like capture the flag and parachute - derive their names from the technological items required: pieces of cloth. But GeekDad clearly means "technology" in the more colloquial sense: something invented in the last few centuries. Probably with transistors.

So, about the post:

Fun? Yes.

Nostalgic? Maybe.

Useful? Could be - particularly if you've got kids and like to play with them. (Key word there is with them.)

Enjoy.

Why Do My Nostrils Whisper to Me? - Phineas and Ferb, Disney and Serious Thought

"Phineas And Ferb - The Ballad of Bad Beard Song HQ+Lyrics+Download Link"

xXFurijsXx, YouTube (May 26, 2009)
video 0:37

This is an excerpt from a longer work of cinematography: "The Ballad of Bad Beard" (Phineas and Ferb, Disney). The astute observer will note that there's a perfectly reasonable - for the Phineas and Ferb universe - explanation for Candace's short soliloquy: "Why do my nostrils whisper to me?" Two, actually.

"P&F - The Ballad of Badbeard 1/1"

Disney4lyf, YouTube (June 20, 2008)
video 9:57

(The Ballad starts about 5:42 into the show.)

As the excerpt and episode incontrovertibly demonstrate, the Disney animation series, Phineas and Ferb, is a trenchant inquiry into the meaning of life, the life of meaning, and why one's nostrils whisper to one.

Or, it's a series of distinctly funny , well-paced cartoons.

One thing's for sure: Although the technical quality of this made-for-television serial is pretty good, and the storytelling as complex as in earlier Disney Studios releases, Phineas and Ferb is not what I'd call a "nostalgic" series.

Let's put it this way: "Bambi" it ain't.

More "MOM! Phineas and Ferb are Building a Website!" at Disney Channel.

"Complex?" I'd better explain that. Disney Studios was pretty good at making what I call 'multi-level' movies, like Lady and the Tramp or Bambi. The pacing ensured that the show would have a fairly simple story with enough movement and action to (generally) hold the attention of younger kids, interlaced with a more complicated story with less action more dialog for the parents. It added up to 'family' entertainment.

I think we're looking at something like that, with a very different style, in P&F.

A Mouse in the Sky - For Now

"New Mouse Constellation Chosen By Children"
Space.com (July 1, 2009)

"The night sky has a new, albeit temporary, constellation: a mouse dubbed "Wee Sleekit Beastie" by a Scottish schoolgirl.

"The mouse was the winning entry for a competition to design a new constellation for the International Year of Astronomy (IYA 2009), which is this year.

"The mouse (whose named [!] means 'Ode to a Mouse') was created by Laura, a year 7 pupil at Dalmeny Primary School in Edinburgh...."

The brief article gives a brief overview of the program - and describes a clever and, I think, educational way of assigning a star to each school.

'Great Truths' from Kids: Funny, and a Little More

"Great Truths That Children Have Learned"
ArcaMax

"1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats...."

There's nine more, two about pets. At this moment, my favorite is #4: "Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato."

This won't replace the works of Dr. Benjamin Spock and Saint Thomas Aquinas, when it comes to helping us understand children and the human condition, but I think the collection is funny. And, there's more than a little truth mixed in with the laughs.

Backyard Roller Coaster: Lots of Fun

"Kid Builds Roller Coaster in Backyard, Calls it Exscream"
TechEBlog (June 25, 2009)

"While some kids are out playing, 'coasterdude' decided to design and build a roller coaster in his very own backyard. Sure, it may not look like much, but enjoying the fruits of your labor...."

This brief post includes a photo and a video (2:23).

The coaster "may not look like much" in comparison to what we see at a Six Flags, but it's an impressive bit of backyard engineering.

The two comments to this post say quite a bit, I think, about human nature and the silly side of American law:

"Mom in me says, 'that looks dangerous!' kid in me says, 'WOO HOO ! I'm next! I want one!!!' "

"Here in America I'm pretty sure this kid would get fined by the police and sued by someone."

As far as being dangerous goes, the thing isn't more that around six feet or two meters, tall. Yes, the kid could fall off it, or get his fingers caught under the wheels: but I've gotten rather weary of living in a bubble-wrapped culture.

Since I am an American, I'd better point out thatBubble Wrap® is a registered trademark of Sealed Air.

While I'm on the subject, be warned that jars of peanuts, labeled "PEANUTS," contain peanuts. You can't make up that sort of thing. (February 27, 2008)

A more serious warning: Either my browser got stuck, or the TechEBlog is one of those clever websites that disable the 'back' button. I generally don't return to that sort: but you do as you see fit.

Making a Father's Day Gift: Ideas and Instructions

"Father's Day Crafts"
Kaboose

"Father's Day is June 21, 2009. Be sure to check out our main Father's Day ideas page for even more great ideas including Father's Day cards, coloring pages and tasty Father's Day recipes just for Dad!..."

It's a bit late for this year, but another 360 days or so and Father's Day will be here again.

The projects look doable. "Family Marble Magnets," for example, starts with photographs of family members, flat backed clear marbles, round magnets, white craft glue and scissors. Five steps, a certain amount of dexterity and patience: and you've got personalized refrigerator magnets. There's an option (obvious when you think about it) for using something other than photos.

This looks like a good 'go to' resource for family gift making.

$20,000 Kobelco Digger Auctioned to 3-Year-Old

"Toddler buys $20,000 digger on TradeMe"
stuff.co.nz (May 21, 2009)

"Three-year-old Pipi Quinlan bought a $20,000 Kobelco digger on auction website TradeMe, prompting immediate damage control by her mum when her purchase was revealed.

"Most parents are used to little ones sneaking treats into the supermarket trolley, but Pipi's deal must take the cake.

"Parents Sarah and Reid Quinlan, of Stanmore Bay, were astonished to wake one morning to find Pipi had bought the huge excavating digger in a TradeMe auction...."

Good news: The Quinlans don't have to pay for the digger, and the seller was reimbursed for auction costs. The Kobelco digger is up for auction again. This time, let's hope that an adult gets there first.

And the Moral of this Story is - - -

"...Perhaps it’s a lesson for many parents or childminders to keep a close eye on little ones around computers."

Yep, I'd say that's a good idea.