'I am the Office Girl'

"'I am the Office Girl' - or - Heads up! It's Not the Forties Any More!"
Starting a Small Business Without Losing My Mind (April 12, 2010)

"This post has a point to make, but I'll save that for the end.

"First, I'll indulge in some reminiscences. These really do have something to do with this post's topic...."

In the spirit of "transparency:" Starting a Small Business Without Losing My Mind is another one of my blogs. I wrote that post yesterday. So yes: This post is an example of shameless self-promotion.

It's also an opportunity for me to share two of the goofier experiences I've had.

The first involves a businessman in the San Francisco area who discovered that some guy who sounds like Darth Vader was the "office girl" he'd demanded to talk with.

The second is about an electrician who flat-out refused to discuss anything technical with my wife.

The point of that 'business' blog post is that anybody in business these days really should catch up on what's happened in America since Rosie the Riveter's Day.

Vaguely-related posts:

• "Atomic Cookies, Recycling Wine Corks, and Rampant(?) Sexism in San Francisco's Restaurants"
  (April 13, 2010)
• "Have a Paranoid Valentine's Day?"
  (February 14, 2010)
• footnote about Boudicca of the Iceni, in
  "Frail, Delicate Little Mother Nature?!"
  (December 20, 2009)
• "Frankenmodel: Or, 'After This Job, You Die'"
  (January 29, 2010)
  • And a sort of follow-up:
    "Good Grief, What Was the Fashion Designer Thinking?!"
    (March 8, 2010)

Boyfriend Wants Nude Pics? Girlfriend Texts Too Much? You're Not Alone

That's Not Cool

"Your cell phone, IM, and social networks are all a digital extension of who you are. When someone you're with pressures you or disrespects you in those places, that's not cool." (from "About This Site)

One of That's Not Cool's online ads shows dialog between a young woman and a jerk young man. They've had a date, now he wants her to send him a nude photo of herself. She refuses. He comes back with the usual 'if you really loved me, you'd send me a nude pic.' The young woman responds, "I said no!"

Sound familiar?

Back to That's Not Cool's "About" page:

"Thatsnotcool.com is attempting to raise awareness about digital dating abuse and stop it before it gets worse. Sponsored and co-created by the Family Violence Prevention Fund, the Office on Violence Against Women and the Ad Council, the site is designed to address new and complicated problems between teens who are dating or hooking up—problems like constant and controlling texting, pressuring for nude pictures, and breaking into someone's e-mail or social networking page."

The website seems to be geared for teens, young teens is my guess, with (somewhat) interactive videos, and a cast of sock puppets and vegetables. It's not as awful as that sounds: I enjoyed the mini-dramas. But then, I enjoy some Saturday morning cartoons and the old Road Runner shorts.

Boys Have Issues, Too?! Who Knew

ThatsNotCool.com's content surprised me a little, considering that it's sponsored by by The Family Violence Prevention Fund, or FVPF.

"The Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF) www.endabuse.org believes that everyone has the right to live free from violence. For three decades, our model programs have created safer, more prosperous communities for women, children, and families around the world." (from "About This Site)

No men. Just women, children and families.

I was in and out of college during the sixties, seventies, and eighties, so I might have expected something sponsored by FVPF and pushed by the Office on Violence Against Women (www.ovw.usdoj.gov - they're against it, BTW) to be much more angry, shrill, and clueless about the other half of the human race.

Kudos to ThatsNotCool.com: Whoever researched and developed this website must have discovered that teenage boys are not all male aggressors seeking to subserviate Woman ('watch me grow').

I was a teenage boy myself, once, and yes: nearly all of us are extremely aware of, and interested in, the other half of humanity. And, some of us are jerks.

But, it's possible for a teenage boy to have issues dealing with a teenage girl, too. (Amazing, but true.)

ThatsNotCool.com has a Help page, that asks" "When does caring become controlling? When does affection become obsession? When does talking become stalking?" And, gives answers: "Not sure if a situation is abusive or not? Ask yourself if your boyfriend or girlfriend:..." at the top of a seven-point list, that goes from "is overly jealous or possessive" to "tries to force you to have sex."

And, gives the phone number of the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline (24 hours a day, 365 days a year). There's an online chat, too. And, dropdown lists (item one of point one starts with "Call the police...." - ThatsNotCool.com doesn't mess around with being 'nice.')

For less urgent and extreme situations, they've got "Callout Cards" - visual messages that might, possibly, drive the point home to a troublesome peer.

Some of my favorites:

Heart Attacks, Women, and an Astounding Discovery

Incredible, but true: Medical experts have discovered that women are not small men!

That startling fact has been known for some time:

"Heart To Heart"
"How Symptoms of Heart Disease Differ in Men and Women."
Susan L. Comer in HealthCare Directions Magazine, via Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Rhode Island (Spring 2003)

"Heart disease has long been considered a man's bastion, albeit one they'd gladly relinquish. But gender stereotyping can be deadly in matters of the heart. Cardiovascular disease is the leading cause of death in the United States, claiming 950,000 lives annually. More than half of these deaths occur among women. And even as women are often unaware...."

"Many Women Still Misinformed About Heart Disease"
"Risk factors and symptoms of trouble can be very different from those for men"
Dennis Thompson, HealthDay Reporter, via Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Mississippi (2005)

"FRIDAY, March 31 (HealthDay News) -- It's a health message that doctors have been directing at women for some time, but too often it fails to get through: The classic sign of a heart attack isn't always searing pain in the chest, usually lasting several minutes.

"But that's not necessarily the symptom felt by women, who make up 50 percent of America's heart attack victims.

" 'Women more often than men experience shortness of breath, unusual fatigue, or the pressure is lower down in the chest so it is mistaken for a stomach ailment,' said Dr. Nieca Goldberg, a cardiologist with Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City and author of Women Are Not Small Men....." (available on Amazon.com and elsewhere)

Aside from being useful (maybe life-saving) information and advice, I think these articles, and the Dr. Goldberg's book, are examples of how the medical profession is starting to realize that not all knowledge is found in the textbooks, and that human beings don't necessarily work exactly the way 'experts' thought they should, back around 1900.

Yes! They can be taught!

"A decade or so ago, many healthcare providers didn't consider women candidates for heart disease either. 'What would happen,' says Marla Mendelson, M.D., a cardiologist at Chicago's Northwestern Memorial Hospital, 'is that women came in with chest pain and were sent home with antacids, and men came in with chest pain and got stress tests, angiograms, and surgery.'

"Consequently, until the late 1990s, women were virtually absent from heart disease studies. 'The historical assumption,' says Dr. Wenger, 'was that whatever occurred in middle-aged men was the norm and that that could be extrapolated both to women and to older patients of both genders. And, of course, that's not the case.' Certainly, the classic presentation of chest pain for an imminent heart attack remains common, but other symptoms may also occur. 'If you look at a population of both sexes over 80 or 85 years of age,' she says, 'only about a third have pain.' More frequent is shortness of breath or severe fatigue....'

Men: Dealing With Women, a Point System

"Rules for Dealing with Women"

It's a point system, and written for laughs. For example,

You take her out to dinner: "It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and you r face is painted the colors of your favorite team ¦.-10"

It's not all negative: "You take her to a movie you hate…..+6"

Adult Ed, the Way It Should Be

From James S. Huggins' Refrigerator Door, "Courses for Men and Women" is a title listing of

• 25 courses for women, taught by men
• 32 courses for men, taught by women.

A sampling:

Courses Taught by men, for women

105: Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?"
111: The Toilet Seat: I Can Learn to Put It Down Too
114: How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him

Courses Taught by women, for men

107: Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly "Don't Wash My Silks")
120: How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
121: How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost
124: How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children