What's With 'Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo.'

"A History of the Sentence 'Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.' "
William J. Rapaport, Department of Computer Science and Engineering, Department of Philosophy, Department of Linguistics, and Center for Cognitive Science, State University of New York at Buffalo, (May 4, 2008)

"In 1972, I was a graduate student in the Department of Philosophy at Indiana University. One of my professors, John Tienson (now [2006] at the University of Memphis), in a course on Philosophy of Language, gave the following example of a grammatical sentence: Dogs dogs dog dog dogs....

"...Several of us students found the plural "-s" endings to lack a certain aesthetic simplicity, and we searched for a better word. I came up with

"Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.

"I.e., buffalo who are buffaloed by other buffalo themselves buffalo still other buffalo.

"However, my fellow graduate students and I were not satisfied. So I concocted:

"Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

"The syntax of the following sentence is close to the previous one:

"Boston mice [that] Boston cats 'Boston-chase' 'Boston-eat' Boston cheese...."

The page starts with a link to ""Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo", Wikipedia (accessed May 4, 2008). For OCD folks, that's eight buffalo - or three Buffalo and five buffalo.

And the Lemming's pretty sure you've heard the one about the fellow who's CDO - OCD with the letters in alphabetical order, the way they're supposed to be.

That's it for today. And the Lemming still hasn't gotten around to that water-powered spaceship.

Lemming Tracks: a Recovering English Teacher and the Dean's Spellchecker

English probably isn't at the top of the list of favorite classes for most high school students. Particularly sections on grammar.

Dissecting sentences and laying out the severed nouns, verbs, prepositions, and other parts of speech wasn't something the Lemming particularly enjoyed, either. And yet, the Lemming was for a time an English teacher.

The Lemming didn't expect the teens in his classroom to get excited about grammar. It's about as dry a subject as grammar. Or, perhaps more precisely, syntax.

"Syntax?" That's:

• The grammatical arrangement of words in sentences
• A systematic orderly arrangement
• Studies of the rules for forming admissible sentences
  (Princeton's WordNet)

While the Lemming's at it, here's the definition of grammar:

• The branch of linguistics that deals with syntax and morphology
  • And sometimes also deals with semantics
  (Princeton's WordNet again)

Grammar and All That: Does It Matter?

Most folks, when they see a sign that reads, "employee's only," realize that it doesn't mean that the door belongs exclusively to some employee. Sane goes far spilling. Ewe dent half two spiel wards conventionality too meek scents.

You may have had to slow down - just a little - to sort out those last two sentences.

One thing a writer who's trying to communicate with someone else doesn't, generally, want to do is put speed bumps in what's being read.

Unless the writer is making a point. As Northern Illinois University's Dean Jerrold Zar was, when he composed that famous poem.

The Dean's Spellchecker: The Genuine Original

With a grateful tip of the hat, the Lemming now presents, in its original and correct form, "The Dean's Spellchecker." Which isn't the poem's title:

---

"Candidate for a Pullet Surprise"
Jerrold H. Zar

I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.

Copyright © 2000 by The Journal of Irreproducible Results, used by permission.
This is the original and accurate version of the poem, as published in
The Journal of Irreproducible Results,
January/February 1994, page 13.

---

Related posts:

• "Accuracy Matters for Bloggers"
  (October 30, 2008)
• "The Apostrophe: It's 'EMPLOYEES ONLY' - Not 'EMPLOYEE'S ONLY' "
  (July 12, 2008)
• "Further, Farther, Lay, Lie: Correct English in a Changing World"
  (July 22, 2008)
• "Triumph of the Typos: One Sign, Many Errors"
  (May 24, 2008)

Also by the Lemming:

• "Soh Whut ef i cant spel?"
  (Only a Looser Chicks Four Spilling Mystics)
  Brian H. Gill (2004)

Accuracy Matters for Bloggers

"Errors By Bloggers Kill Credibility & Traffic, Study Finds"
ReadWriteWeb (October 30, 2008)

If you're still reading, I'm probably preaching to the choir.

Here's the first paragraph:

"Blogging is fast, informal and easy to do. Spelling, grammar and factual errors happen - but do they make a material impact on the success of a blogger? A small but interesting survey run by crowdsourced copy editing service GooseGrade concludes that they do...."

The article isn't long, but it's got a fair amount of information.

Recommended for anyone who takes blogging seriously - and who wants to be taken seriously.

Further, Farther, Lay, Lie: Correct English in a Changing World

"Style Manual"
University of Minnesota

Correct usage of words, from affect/effect to who/whom and -wise.

A pretty good resource.

Not everybody is on the same page, about what's correct, and what's not. Further and farther, for example, are changing in their accepted meanings right now. I think there's a consensus developing, but not everybody agrees:

"Commonly Confused Words"
Further vs. Farther & Lie vs. Lay
Terry Watt (May 1, 2000)
the Carnegie Mellon community

"Several words in English exist as confused pairs. This situation often arises because one word is generally used transitively while the other is generally intransitive. However, at least one special case of simple dualism also exists: the pair further/farther...."

Me, I think that English is changing - and that style manuals like the University of Minnesota's show the way it is - and will be for at least the next few years.

Less is Fewer or Lesser is Few, or - How Does That Go?

One more grammar post, and I'll be off the subject for a while.

"Do You Commit This Common Grammar Mistake?"
Robust Writing (July 9, 2008)

"Many people write less or lesser when they should use few or fewer...."

And yes, it really does matter. Less ya dont cares how they sounds.

The Apostrophe: It's "EMPLOYEES ONLY" - Not "EMPLOYEE'S ONLY"

"Apostrophes"
Not a Potted Plant (July 8, 2008)

"I spend a lot of my day reading over evidence. Letters, memos, e-mail, things like that. So I see how a wide range of people write, in settings both formal and candid. And for some reason, a large number of people seem to actively resist the correct use of apostrophes.

"Misapostrophication is a sin of language, it irritates me like head lice, and it needs to be stamped out. Apostrophes are not that difficult. ("Apostrophes" are punctuation marks, not the name of a Greek philosopher.) Here are the rules, and there are only two of them."

It's good to know that I'm not the only one who's noticed the misuse of apostrophes.

The Comma: Read it, Learn it, Use it

"Overcome the comma!"
Rob’s Megaphone (July 12, 2008)

"Puny but powerful, the itsy bitsy comma remains a foe to many folks striving to use good grammar. The comma is among the most confusing and misused punctuation marks in English grammar. Some people place a comma whenever they pause in their proofreading. While this strategy is a good guide, it is not foolproof. Some guys have a vague recollection of grade-school grammar and guess at the comma's proper placement. The problem here is that the rules get muddled over time. We see commas used incorrectly in print everyday...."

This 10-point list is a little technical. But, if you got through high-school English you should be able to make use of the advice.

The comma is a good tool for writers - when used properly.

Now, if we could only get apostrophes used properly!

Triumph of the Typos: One Sign, Many Errors

"F (Images & Pictures)"
yawoot.com (May 3, 2008)

The sign started out saying "ALL Pump IS PRE . Pay."

Then someone added corrections, and graded it.

As a recovering English teacher and professional copywriter, I sympathize with whoever marked up the sign. It's a real temptation, seeing things like "employee's only" and "watch you're step."

Death to Commas!

"Curse, of, the, Common, Comma"
"David W. Boles' Urban Semiotic / Where Blood and Bone Render Meaning in the City Core" (June 13, 2006)

Here's writing advice from a writer who deplores commas. That's because, he explains, "I was taught -- by the great poet, editor, friend and Pulitzer Prize winner Karl Shapiro -- to only use minimal punctuation and only when it was urgently required for clarification."

Here's a sample of this sort of comma-free writing: "Karl's writing was about brevity and clarity and condensation of belief all while churning up deep and complicated emotional and intellectual reactions in his readers."

He also said "Karl would also tell me. 'Commas are bonnets and if your sentence is wearing more than one you risk looking silly.' " I have to admit: That's funny.

I present this op ed piece not so much as useful advice but as an example of how people who are very talented can come up with rules that don't necessarily apply to the sort or writing that you and I do on a routine basis.

Still with me?

Notice that there wasn't a single c-word in that whole paragraph that starts with "I present" and ends with "routine basis." Although the sentence does have a capitol letter and a period at the end.

i know that there are very talented people just ask them who don't use capitol letters or periods or other punctuation but I am not so talented and so I dont as a rule

Seriously? This is an engagingly-written piece. But I wouldn't take the man's advice. Unless you're an excessively creative person, who wants to write a novel without the letter "p," or sans comma, or something of that sort.

Interestingly, the writer cites the genius of James Joyce: whose "Ulysses" put stream-of-consciousness writing on the map, and whose works will be read as long as there are English teachers to assign them.

It's "EMPLOYEES ONLY," Not "EMPLOYEE'S ONLY!" Test Your Knowledge of the Apostrophe

"Using the apostrophe 1."

Think you know how to use the apostrophe? Take this test. (Numbers 9 and 10 are, given the grammar of English, ambiguous, so here's a hint: There's only one cat, and many Romans.)

Links to more about using the apostrophe of possession, a list of other grammar exercises, and another exercise using the apostrophe are at the bottom.

The Semicolon: Appreciated at Last!

"The Poor, Misunderstood Semicolon"

A relatively painless discussion of how to use the semicolon. Maybe if more textbooks took this post's approach, there wouldn't be as many kids falling asleep in English class.

Writing 101: Review Never Hurts

"Active and Passive Voice" is a pretty good review handout.

This page is part of Purdue University's "Printer-Friendly Handouts for Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling."

Okay, you learned all this stuff in school. But, review doesn't hurt.

Besides, these thing could make a good reference resource, like the style manual I keep by the other computer.