Monday, December 7, 2009

Frosty the Pornman: Was This the Best CBS Could Come Up With?

"CBS Dirties 'Frosty's' Snow"
Digital Journal (December 7, 2009)

"'Frosty the Snowman' has been altered by media giant, CBS, into a series of adult rated commercials. CBS crossed the children's show with two of their adult shows in a series of advertisements.

"Fox News is reporting that CBS has decided to re-cut scenes from the family classic, "Frosty the Snowman" with the voices of Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) and Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men). The results have Frosty talking about his adult movie collection. The entire time he is surrounded by a group of smiling happy children.

"The Neil Patrick Harris clip can be seen on Youtube

"John Tantillo of Fox News sees the damage being done on four levels; CBS, 'Frosty the Snowman,' 'How I Met Your Mother,' and 'Two and a Half Men.'

"Tantillo was quick to point out that CBS really runs the risk of causing injury to their audience. He says there is a chance, or in his words, 'good chance' that when children go to look up 'Frosty the Snowman' on the Internet they could find either of the two clips there. In that case instead of hearing about the wonderment of the holiday and winter they are going to hear two grown men discussing adult movies and women...."

There are quite a few ways of reacting to this, including:
  1. Denial:
    • The news is on the FOXNews website, so it must be a lie
      • And probably some kind of conspiracy
  2. Defense:
    • CBS is exercising its constitutional right to
      • Freedom of expression
      • Right to privacy
      • A whole lot of other stuff that's in the Constitution
        • Or oughta be
  3. Resignation:
    • CBS is just following contemporary cultural values
      • Such as they are
Considering the myriad ways of the human mind, I'm sure there are many more alternative reactions.

Me? I'm somewhere between resignation and disgust. I've gotten used to this sort of adult, sophisticated humor over the last few decades. It's the sort of thing that's to be expected from the traditional major networks - and sophomore college boys, after a six-pack or two.

There's nothing much to be done about the situation: CBS is free to produce whatever, ah, programming they want, and market it any way they want. Presumably, they've either got rights to the old "Frosty the Snowman" content, or that remix falls within legal limits. Probably something to do with "satire," as recognized by the courts.

However, just as CBS is free to do what it wants, people who sit in front of television sets and go online are free to decide, too. Personally, I can think of quite a few things with more entertainment value than the CBS website. Princeton's WordNet online dictionary, for example. (That's my resource of choice for online definitions, BTW.)

And, if you have kids and haven't done this yet: You might consider letting them know that there are some really unpleasant people out there. And, while you're at it, figure out how to be around when your kids are online.

That last is easier for me than it is for most. I work at home, and have been blessed with a wife who knows how to raise kids - and kids who have stayed on speaking terms with both of us.

Why did the Lemming post this?

I figure that quite a few parents - and grandparents, uncles, aunts, whatever - remember the old "Frosty the Snowman" cartoon. And may not realize that CBS has created a more 'relevant,' 'adult' version this year.

That doesn't sound very "apathetic," does it? I wrote about the name, "Apathetic Lemming of the North," back in 2007. Basically, the Lemming has interests and concerns: but is "apathetic" in the sense that I'm not intensely, irrationally, worried sick about the "right" things.

Finally, it could have been worse, I suppose. CBS could have shot video of someone's backside, and mooned America. Actually, though, that might have been an improvement.

Oh, well.



Brigid said...

"Actually, though, that might have been an improvement."

Possibly. All depends on the presentation. That scene from Braveheart where the Scottish army mooned the English, that was hilarious.

This... is just kinda sickening.

Anonymous said...


Brian H. Gill said...


Agreed. But then, "sickening" seems to be the 'new black' for 'sophisticated' people.

Brian H. Gill said...


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