But: "goes green"?!
Taking the now-traditional version of Santa's operation, we've got:
- No factory - Santa uses
- A labor-intensive workshop
- Run by elves
- Who live what can most charitably be described as an early-19th century lifestyle
- Elf rights violations, anyone?
- A transportation system powered by magical reindeer
- Zero pollution - aside from flatulence and droppings from eight reindeer
- Nine, after Rudolph made the team
- Zero pollution - aside from flatulence and droppings from eight reindeer
Mother Nature: Clara Bow or Queen Boudicca?
In some circles, 'everybody knows' about Earth's delicate ecosystem and the awful, terrible things that will happen if the rest of us aren't careful. I get the idea that Mother Nature is seen as a frail little 1920s movie actress: all big eyes and toothpick limbs. Sort of like Clara Bow after a long fast.If I were to personify life on Earth, she'd be more like the growing things that have been around for the last 2,500,000,000 years or so.
One adjective I wouldn't use for life on Earth is "frail." Sure, individual species, like the panda and the koala, could die out if their environment changed a little - and we didn't take an interest in keeping them alive.
Others, not so much. Think pigeons, rats, cockroaches: and, probably, us. Again, think about it: we're opportunistic omnivores that are living on every continent except Antarctica - and we're starting to move in there.
It's true, though: some kinds of creatures aren't around anymore. Like trilobites and the dinosaurs - unless you count birds as flight-adapted dinosaurs. Just about the only unchanging thing on Earth is that things change. Which, I think, troubles some people.
Back to the personification of life on Earth, Mother Nature.So far, Earth has seen about seven major ice ages. Every few million years a really big hunk of ice, rock, or metal hits Earth, blasting large areas immediately - and sometimes causing global damage. That may (or may not) be what killed off the dinosaurs.
But not other creatures - including our (very) remote ancestors.
Let's face it: Earth's a tough old mother; she's been through a lot; and it looks like it'll take more than manure and coal fires (the 19th century's dreadful pollution problem) or carelessly-discarded six-pack rings to do her in.
Don't get me wrong: I think fur seals are cute; I like spotted owls; my household recycles; and I don't think it makes sense to pour industrial waste into water we'll be drinking later. But getting worked up about poor, frail little Mother Nature?
I think she needs about as much protection as Queen Boudicca did, roughly 19½ centuries back.1
Related posts:
- "Change, American Culture, Trilobites, Humanity's History, and the Big Picture"
(Last updated December 20, 2009) - "Global Warming, End Times - 'We're All Gonna Die' Over the Last 45 Years Or So"
A Catholic Citizen in America (October 3, 2009) - "The Ice is Falling! Runaway Melt Mode! And You Should See What's Happening to Minnesota Trees!"
(September 23, 2009) - "Earth Day 2009: Don't Stop Breathing to Save Earth"
(April 22, 2009) - "Antarctic Ice Cap Didn't Get the Memo"
(April 18, 2009) - "American Academic Institutions: Impartial, Neutral, Nonpartisan, Dispassionate"
Another War-on-Terror Blog (April 29, 2008)
Particularly the discussion of- two people:
- Dr. William Gray
- Ben
- two people:
- "Earth Day 2009: Don't Stop Breathing to Save Earth"
(April 22, 2009) - " 'My Mind's Made Up: Don't Confuse Me With the Facts' "
(March 3, 2008)
- Earth Impact Database
- "Prehistoric Time Line"
Science and Space, National Geographic - "Ice Age Explanation"
Scott "Welcome to the world of Ice Age Paleoecology!" Elias, Niwot Ridge Long-Term Ecological Research Site- It's only fair to warn you: some of the ice age information is heretical
- "Ice Ages"
Canadian Museum of Nature- Mentions four of the seven major ice ages:
- about 2 million years ago to the present—the Quaternary Ice Age
- 350 to 250 million years ago—the Karoo Ice Age
- 800 to 600 million years ago—the Cryogenian (or Sturtian-Varangian) Ice Age
- 2400 to 2100 million years ago—the Huronian Ice Age
- Mentions four of the seven major ice ages:
1 You may not have heard of Boudicca of the Iceni, but she made quite an impression on the Romans: metaphorically and literally. I think it didn't help that Romans were, compared to the inhabitants of northwestern Europe - well, not all that big. Boudicca might not have given the Romans much trouble, except that when her husband, king of the Iceni, died, the Roman occupiers of Britain were - imprudent.
"...As a beginning, his widow Boudicca was flogged and their daughters raped...." (Tacitus, "Annals")
I suppose they thought that, being a woman, she'd be cowed into subservience. Didn't work out that way. She was displeased about her personal treatment: and about how the Roman overlords were treating her people. By the time she was through: "...Two cities were sacked, eighty thousand of the Romans and of their allies perished, and the island was lost to Rome...."
(Cassius Dio, "Roman History (LXII.1-2)")
Aside from her sincerely non-helpless nature, I think Boudicca's appearance makes a pretty good model for Mother Nature:
"...In stature she was very tall, in appearance most terrifying, in the glance of her eye most fierce, and her voice was harsh; a great mass of the tawniest hair fell to her hips...."
(Cassius Dio, "Roman History (LXII.1-2)")
About that "harsh voice" - Cassius Dio was a Roman, writing from a Roman point of view. After what she'd been through, I daresay Queen Boudicca's voice might have been a trifle harsh when she spoke to Romans.
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