Stupid, Funny, Warning Labels

"Warning: These Product Labels May Cause You to Double Over With Laughte"
FOXNews (April 13, 2009)

" Danger! Caution! Alert! It seems like everywhere you turn there’s a new list of things you shouldn't be doing.

"From the machine that makes your coffee first thing in the morning to the alarm clock you set when you go to bed, just about every product you use on a daily basis comes with a list of ways not to use it.

"Experts say the abundance of warnings on packages leads people to skip reading them altogether...."

From personal experience: a transparent jar of peanuts, marked "peanuts" with the warning "contains peanuts." ("Stark, Raving, Mad Label: Contents: Peanuts / Warning: Contains Peanuts " (February 27, 2008))

Samples: "Don't Try to Dry Your Phone in a Microwave Oven;" "A Hair Dryer Warns: Never Use While Sleeping;" "Two-Pronged Fishing Hook Warns: Harmful If Swallowed."

I think a catch-all warning label would probably do the trick for all products: WARNING! NOT RECOMMENDED FOR USE BY OR NEAR NITWITS!"