"I began collecting wrappers in 1977 with an eye toward the unusual, ironic, and aesthetic, although I also collected "classic" but more mundane wrappers for posterity's sake. I haven't yet counted all the wrappers in my collection, but it's HUGE. It's stored in a stack of boxes nearly 4 feet high and about 1.5 feet x 2 feet wide. (Physics majors - you tell me how many that probably is!)
"As frightening as it may seem, I've eaten most of the candy in my collection, and yet I'm not (yet) overweight. I'm sure I owe this to countless intense walks and aerobics sessions. And no, I'm not a diabetic. Perhaps this can be attributed to good genes, although knowing my family, this theory is doubtful. Maybe it will catch up with me and I'll decompose all at once, like aged candy. (See below.)
"One thing I learned the hard way is that no matter how chemically inert or unresembling food a candy product might be, it will eventually become molecularly unstable and turn into a hideous, sticky goo. For this reason, you'll see precious little candy in this museum. However, amazingly enough, the candy I kept actually held up for twenty years before I had to throw most of it out. Based on this experience, I'd say 25 years is the point when you've kept the candy too long...."
The Lemming Expounds
After today's first two posts, the Lemming thought it was time for something less weighty. "To expound" doesn't mean "to expel pound," by the way: and the Lemming is not going to get sidetracked.Where was I? Today. Posts. Something less weighty.
Right.
Gum wrappers came to mind. A quick look over the four thousand or so posts in this blog showed that, incredible as this may seem: not once has the Lemming discussed gum wrappers!
"Gum wrappers" isn't as random a thought as you might think. In another blog, I introduced plans for the Loonfoot Falls Museum of Lint and Gum Wrappers. ("Dust Bunnies are Not Lint!," Loonfoot Falls Chronicle-Gazette (August 6, 2010))
That shameless bit of self-promotion behind the Lemming, let's get back go gum wrappers.
Or, rather, to The Candy Wrapper Museum.
This museum is an online entity, with (so far) 12 sections:
- Big Eats
- Celebrities
- Classics
- Classy
- Not to be confused with Classics
- Critters
- Not the 1986 movie
- Don't Eat!
- Faces
- Foreign
- My guess is that the person who's managing this online museum is lives in North America
- Grown-Up
- Holidaze
- No Fun
- Vices
I rather hope so, since what's there so far is - for me - fun.
My favorite page, so far, is "St. Patrick's Day" in the Holidaze section: featuring See's Candies' St. Patrick's Day Potato.
Which almost certainly has nothing to do with the Seelie Court. Nor, I should hope, the Unseelie Court: in which case I'd be rather leery.
Leery, interestingly enough, doesn't seem to have a thing to do with either the Seelie or the Unseelie Courts, although I should think that any sensible person - - - but no, I'll not be getting off on another topic.
Not in this post.
And not today, in this blog.
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