Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Bigfoot in Georgia: Hoax, or Scientific Breakthrough?

The Bigfoot body in a Georgia freezer is made of rubber.

Either Bigfoot hunter Tom Biscardi and Searching For Bigfoot, Inc., bought a rubber Bigfoot suit, or they've discovered something truly amazing: a living organism that's hollow, made of flexible polymers, and has no DNA!

Either way, they're famous.

Tom Biscardi showed the world a close-up photo of what he insisted was Bigfoot's teeth and tongue in a news conference last Friday. He was in Palo Alto, California, at the time. The frozen Bigfoot, in an ice-filled freezer, seems to have been in Georgia at the time.

Matthew Whitton, a Clayton County police officer, and car salesman Rick Dyer, disappeared after they got paid for the frozen gorilla suit. Which I think shows a great deal of good sense on their part.

On the other hand, Mr. Whitton is out of a job. The 28-year-old Georgia cop had been on medical leave, after being shot in the wrist.

Con Man or Stoned? Either Way, He's Fired

Police Chief Jeffrey Turner said, "He's disgraced himself, he's an embarrassment to the Clayton County Police Department, his credibility and integrity as an officer is gone, and I have no use for him," which is not the sort of thing you want to hear your boss say.

The police chief seems puzzled, too: "This turn of events from hero to someone who defrauds a nation is just baffling. I don’t know how he got from one point to the other," (Atlanta Journal-Constitution) but I can offer a possible explanation. Wrist injuries can be painful: maybe Mr. Whitton took a few too many pain-killers, and really thought that he had seen three Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) in the north Georgia woods, and had a Bigfoot body in the freezer.

Now that the nation - and the world - knows that they bought a rubber Bigfoot, Searching For Bigfoot, Inc., is doing a good job of - clarifying? - their position.

From 'It's Bigfoot!' to 'We'll Sue' in Under a Week

After buying a block of ice with a rubber gorilla suit inside, Tom Biscardi and his Searching For Bigfoot, Inc., organization aren't happy with their purchase. As CNN put it, "...Biscardi's organization, Searching for Bigfoot Inc., 'is seeking justice for themselves and for all the people who were deceived by this deception.'... "

In their position, I might not be so eager to keep reminding people that I told the world Bigfoot was real, and bought a rubber costume to prove it. But then, I'm not a Bigfoot hunter.

Even before the "Bigfoot" hair sample failed a DNA test, there were (subtle?!) indications that something might be less than right with the Georgia duo. For one thing, they were advertising $499 USD Bigfoot expeditions, and were also looking for
  • Sasquatch
  • Leprechauns
  • Dinosaurs
  • Unicorns
  • The Loch Ness Monster
  • Jimmy Hoffa
  • Elvis
The deceptive duo's voice mail has been updated. They're diversifying, and are now seeking "big cats and dinosaurs. If you see any of those, give us a call." (Atlanta Journal Constitution, Associated Press)

American Law Protects the Innocent: Not the Stupid

That's the opinion of a talking head on one of those 'what do you think about this' panel discussions. I feel a little sorry for Tom Biscardi Searching For Bigfoot, Inc., but not all that much.

Didn't they see anything a little dicey about a couple of Georgia good 'ol boys who would go on Bigfoot expeditions for $499 a pop, and were on the lookout for leprechauns and Elvis, too?

Apparently, not.

I think the biggest clue that Biscardi and company missed was that the two fellows wanted their money before the buyer had a chance to examine the carcass.

I Could be Wrong

On the other hand, the two Georgia men could be honest. Maybe
  • They disappeared from their hotel room because Bigfeet (Bigfoots?) kidnapped them
  • Biscardi got a rubber gorilla suit because Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) recovered the body of their fallen comrade, putting a Halloween costume it its place
  • Bigfoot leaders don't want their presence known because
    • They are gentle children of nature, wanting nothing more than to live in peace and harmony with Mother Earth
    • The Bigfoot Emperor's plans to enslave humanity aren't quite ready
But, I don't think so.
Georgia Bigfoot in the news:
Update (August 21, 2008):

"Georgia Bigfoot Hoax: Rube Duped by Sophisticated Humor? " (August 21, 2008)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

i'm still trying to figure out if "Sasquatch" is Bigfoot's name, or if that's the name of his species

David Gerard said...

But how could anyone have ever doubted those guys? They just radiated trust. I'm sure the Bigfoot species really has rubbery skin.

Brian H. Gill said...

Media Dude,

Good point. Here's what Princeton has to say:

Bigfoot, Sasquatch (large hairy humanoid creature said to live in wilderness areas of the United States and Canada)

Looks like it's two words for the same thing, and despite the capitalization, they're names for the group of (real or imagined) creatures.

Brian H. Gill said...

David Gerard,

Those two jokers were pretty obviously telling whoppers.

I'm not so sure about Bigfoot, though, one way or the other. The gorilla was thought to be a traveler's tale until a specimen was found: and the platypus wasn't believed (at first), even when a specimen was sent back home.

On the other hand, Bigfoot in Georgia is a little hard to swallow. That state is fairly built up, and it's hard to imagine a number of creatures the size of Chewbacca living there without being noticed.

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