Montauk Monster: Publicity Stunt by Space Aliens, Implicating USDA's Plum Island?

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New Montauk Monster Photo
"Montauk Monster is Back: Photo Revealed"
(May 13, 2009)

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Or is this the last Elvis sighting?

One thing seems certain about the Montauk Monster: It's sincerely dead.


(From College OTR, used without permission)

It's also a fairly hot discussion topic:

• "Montauk Monster: Property of the USDA?"
  Associated Content (July 30, 2008)
  • "An unknown creature that washed up on the beach in Montauk, New York, has been dubbed the "Montauk Monster" and captivated the American imagination.
  • "Speculation about the identity of the Montauk Monster is rampant. Many skeptical Americans believe that the Montauk Monster is a publicity stunt. The most conspiracy-minded are sure the Montauk monster is detritus from a sinister government operation. The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)-operated Plum Island animal testing facility is nearby, fueling the belief that the USDA is responsible; some would see the Montauk Monster as a hideous USDA experiment gone wrong while others might consider it a not -so-unexpected byproduct of animal experimentation. The simplest explanation might be that the Montauk Monster is a natural mutation of some sort of ordinary Earth animal, but which one? ..."
• "What Is The Montauk Monster?"
  College OTR (July 30, 2008)
  • "Yesterday, a strange creature washed ashore on a beach in New York. Now, it's up to college students to cast the deciding vote and figure out what it is.
  • "Calling all biology majors.
  • "Yesterday, the strange beast depicted above washed up on a beach in Montauk, New York.
  • "Since then, the creature has earned the nickname "The Montauk Monster" and left half the Internet speculating what exactly it is."

College OTR came up with a pretty good set of ideas for what the Montauk Monster might be:

• Deformed turtle
• Failed government experiment
• Viral marketing for an upcoming Hollywood film
• Undecided ("Kill it with fire, though")

That photo, the best (and only) one I found, doesn't give many clues about how large it is. Assuming that it's on 'typical' beach sand, the Montauk Monster might be about the size of a large dog or small pig. It could be a lot bigger, of course, or smaller.

I noticed an indication of water action in the ground, below the carcass, which may or may not mean something.

My own opinion is that it's a dead mammal, and the teeth look a bit dog-like. But that's as far as I'll go, in terms of serious speculation.

As for not-so-serious speculation, how's this:

Elvis was a space alien whose mission ended several decades ago. To his intense annoyance, he wasn't able to get off-planet. Material for his transmorgatron remorphicalation was held up in customs at Rigel VI.

A few months ago, the supplies he'd been waiting for arrived, making it possible for him to shed his human form, assume his real appearance, and catch the next shuttle home.

To the dismay of his companions, the transformation went horribly wrong. Left with the grotesquely malformed body of one of their government's top agents, and few explanations as to what happened, the panicked space aliens towed the body to a point near the Plum Island Animal Disease Center, and cut it loose, hoping that currents would carry it far away. Or, if found, that the humans - and their superiors - would assume that Elvis had met his end at Plum Island.

Their reasoning was that a missing agent would be easier to explain than a hideously deformed one: and, failing that, framing humans was better than getting the space alien equivalent of a courts martial.

Do I believe that? Certainly not. But it makes a good story, I think.

(Plum Island Animal Disease Center has its own Web page. And, there's been discussion of moving the facility.)

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Update (August 3, 2008)
"Montauk Monster: It's Alive! Three Live Sightings So Far"

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Update (January 24, 2009)

Space Aliens Return for Obama Inaugural!

American President's Space Alien Past!

MASSIVE COVERUP?!

Read about it, at "Video Proof: Space Aliens Land at Obama Inauguration" (January 24, 2009)