Sunday, February 14, 2010

Have a Paranoid Valentine's Day?

"Valentine's Day gifts will expose many cheating mates" (February 13, 2010)

"Many cheating Valentines will be exposed by the Valentine's Day gifts they give or receive this year.

"The National Retail Federation predicts that Americans will spend over $14 billion on Valentine's gifts this year.

"A significant amount of that money will be spent by cheaters buying Valentine's Day gifts for the person with whom they're having an affair...."

The subheads give you a pretty good idea of what the rest of the article's like:

Factors That Lead to the Exposure of a Cheating Mate

3 Ways Valentine's Day Cheaters Can Be Exposed

More Help in Catching Cheating Valentines

More Articles on Cheating Valentines Throughout the Valentine Season

I'll add a few points that the article's author missed, for any paranoiac spouses (or significant others or whatever the in term is today):
  • If he/she doesn't get you a Valentine's Day gift, it proves he/she is cheating
    • Because if he/she really cared, you'd get something
  • If he/she does get you a Valentine's Day gift, it proves he/she is cheating
    • Because he/she is trying to make you think he/she really cares
  • Anyway, you know he/she is cheating
    • Because all men/women cheat
Yes, I know that infidelity is a serious problem. And has been. It's a breach of trust, and people shouldn't do it.

On the other hand, I'm not sure what to make of that article. It reminds me too much of those 'do you feel fat?' and 'do you stink?' ads. Interestingly, I haven't run into all that many deodorant ads that play on people's fears in the last decade or so. Maybe I'm watching different programs.

Seriously, I hope that nobody takes the three-point list I made seriously. I suppose I have to say this: It was a joke.

Me? I don't cheat. No great virtue involved there: I've just got too good an idea of what the consequences could be.

And, I've gotten my wife a very nice - I better not say. She might read this post.

Related post, in another blog:

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