First Montauk, Now This: East River 'Monster,' Another Dead - Thing

"Dead East River 'monster' confounds New Yorkers, animal experts"
Philip Caulfieldn, New York Daily News (July 25, 2012)
"A gnarly, dead carcass snapped by photographer Denise Ginley has the Parks Department claiming it's just a pig, while naysayers are crying 'foul.'...

"...A bloated, pig-like carcass spotted beneath the Brooklyn Bridge over the weekend has spooked New Yorkers buzzing about mutant river 'monsters.'

"Photographer Denise Ginley shot pics of the rotting, sand-covered corpse on Sunday. 'My boyfriend and I were walking along the East River on our way to a farmer's market when we spotted it among some driftwood on a small stretch of sand below the Brooklyn Bridge that you can barely call a beach,' she emailed the Daily News...."

This particular dead critter looks like a pig, sort of: judging from the photos, it's about the right size, has ears that are sort of pig-like. What's at the end of the legs? Maybe not so much:


(Denise Ginley, via New York Daily News, used w/o permission)

"
(Denise Ginley, via New York Daily News, used w/o permission
"Photographer Denise Ginley shot pics of the rotting, sand-covered corpse on Sunday while strolling with her boyfriend along the Manhattan side of the East River."

"
(Denise Ginley, via New York Daily News, used w/o permission
"Photographer Denise Ginley thinks it is odd that the Parks Department so quickly said the creature was a 'discarded cooked pig' and that the department 'threw it out.' "

A Pig: With Hands?!

No, the Lemming does not think that this is a mutant space-alien Elvis impersonator. Maybe a pig's hooves look like that, after being exposed to the elements for long enough.

Or maybe the Parks Department officials are city folks, and never got closer to pigs than a supermarket's meat department.

Or - maybe this is Elvis! (July 30, 2008) Or, not.

"East River Monster Is Either a Raccoon or Dog or Rodent (or Monster)"
Joe Coscarelli, New York (July 26, 2012)

"When the New York City Parks Department tried to tell us that this fat little blob of horror was a pig, we said hell no because we have eyes and our paranoia will not be placated. Instead, we came up with conspiracy theories about chemicals in the East River, offshore animal testing, and the Jurassic Park–style breeding of many more Montauk Monsters. Then, just in case, we asked the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, where a wildlife expert told Daily Intel through a spokesperson that 'the carcass in the picture you provided appears to be a raccoon.' Hmmm. Maybe?

"But the experts do not agree.

" 'Obviously, all of the hair is gone and the carcass is greatly bloated due to decay, so all of the typical body-form clues are absent,' said our source. 'But the overall body appearance, coupled with the hands/feet, look like a raccoon.' The original Montauk Monster also got called a raccoon, but who knows how deep this thing goes) The wildlife people aren't making any promises anyway: 'We cannot say for certain though without examining the carcass in person.' It's too bad the Parks Department 'just threw it out.'..."

So, is the east river monster a drowned dog, a deceased raccoon, a mutant pig, or something else? In the Lemming's considered opinion: maybe.


(Denise Ginley, via New York, used w/o permission)
"...But this doesn't look like a dog paw to us either...." (Joe Coscarelli, New York)

Actually, "pig" seems unlikely. The ears are sort of pig-shaped: but the - paws? Hands?

What's at the far end of the front legs for mammals that don't have hooves is fairly standard hardware: so all that the Lemming will commit to is that the east river monster almost certainly is a mammal, and comes from Earth.

And Now, Something Crazy

On the other hand, it would be so cool if this was the body of an escaped prisoner from a top-secret space alien government black ops undercover mad scientist frankenfood biotech CIA plot.

Involving Elvis.

Related posts:

• Critters!
  • "Chupacabra! Or, Attack of the Giant Chihuahua! Or, Beware of Mutant Raccoon"
    (July 11, 2010)
  • "Montauk Monster is Back: Photo Revealed"
    (May 13, 2009)
  • "Georgia Bigfoot Hoax: Rube Duped by Sophisticated Humor?"
    (August 21, 2008)
  • "Montauk Monster: It's Alive! Three Live Sightings So Far"
    (August 3, 2008)
  • "Montauk Monster: Publicity Stunt by Space Aliens, Implicating USDA's Plum Island?"
    (July 30, 2008)
• Conspiracies?
  • "Mayan Apocalypse Transition: Book a Galactic Cruise; or Take the Cosmic Bike Tour"
    (February 3, 2012)
  • "How to Not Sound Crazy - or - THE PARANOIDS ARE AFTER ME!!!"
    (June 12, 2011)
  • "Nuclear Weapons, Space Aliens, Conspiracy Theories, and Getting a Grip"
    (September 24, 2010)
  • "Why is it So Hard to Find a Comprehensive History of Blotting Paper?"
    (March 2, 2010)
  • "Haiti's Earthquake Caused by - You Guessed it - Yankee Imperialists"
    (January 21, 2010)