Planet X, NASA, and the Lizard People From Outer Space

"Apocalypse Not Now: 2012 Doomsday Predictions Debunked by NASA"
Charles Q. Choi, Space.com (December 30, 2011)

"On Dec. 21, 2012, many doomsday believers fear the apocalypse — anything from a rogue planet smashing into us to our world spinning end over end. However, the world should expect nothing more next year than the winter solstice, the longest night of the year, NASA says.

"Many people point to the end of the Mayan Long Count calendar on Dec. 21, 2012 as evidence of the coming apocalypse, but astronomers have been quick to stress that there is nothing to be concerned about.

"According to the ancient Mayan calendar, next year's winter solstice marks the end of a 144,000-day cycle. This cycle, which begins at the mythical Maya creation date, has already been repeated 12 times. The 13th will end in 2012, capping a full 5,200-year Mayan cycle of creation...."

Mayan calendar makers notwithstanding, the Lemming isn't concerned about December 21, 2012. Using the same logic, the world has already ended twice: December of 999, and again in 1999, using our Gregorian calendar.

Using the Mayan calendar has the advantage of being relatively unfamiliar, so let's go with that. The world has, or will, end:

• August 11, 3114 BC
  • When the Mayan 'long count' last started
  • More or less
• December 23, 2012
• Spring, 7138
• Summer, 12263
• Autumn 17388
• And so on

The Mayan long count may have started on August 13, and the Lemming went over that in another blog:

• "Commie Plots, Cholesterol, Frank Burns, Hugo Chavez, and 2012"
  Another War-on-Terror Blog (November 15, 2009)

Nibiru, NASA, and the Lizard People

The rest of the Space.com article covers what NASA has to say about some of the elaborations on '2012 doomsday' that folks have come up with:

• Planet X
  • Or Nibiru
  • Not to be confused with "Plan 9 from Outer Space"
• Cosmic alignments
  • But no mystic crystal revelations, apparently
• Solar storms
  • Hollywood's done this already
• Flip-flop Earth
  • A little truth to this one
    • Very little
• Cosmic impacts
  • Comets
  • Asteroids
  • And all that
  • Again, a little truth to this one

Saying that 2012 won't be much more than the year that keeps 2011 from bumping into 2013 is rather dull, though, so the Lemming suggests something spicier. Not more sensible, or accurate: but arguably more exciting.

That Space.com article is part of a vast conspiracy, involving NASA, punk rock, and shape-shifting, space-alien lizard men.



It's 'obvious:' shape-shifting lizard men from outer space have taken over key parts of Earth's governments and cultural institutions!

That's why we got punk rock, the Beatles, and Willie Nelson!!

Look at British royalty and VIPs: does anyone really believe those are humans??!!!

How could Earth's humans possibly have missed the growing lizard man menace?!!!!

They have been twisting human minds for years: with pop music; weird fashions; hair spray; and infomercials!!!!!

Only a few perceptive, courageous, voices cried out: alerting the populace to this scaly menace from the stars!!!!!!

And, one by one, THESE VOICES HAVE BEEN SILENCED!!!!!!!

It's been mere weeks since new Oddly Enough blog posts mysteriously ceased!!!!!!!!

The Oddly Enough blog actually isn't being updated any more: but that's hardly 'mysterious.' Reuters decided they'd had enough of Mr. Basler's posts: or is Reuters part of the conspiracy, too?

Seriously?

'Nibiru, NASA, and the Lizard People' is humor.

Of the tongue-in-cheek sort.

That's what the Lemming intended, at least. Your experience may vary.

Conspriacy Theories: Okay for Stories

Conspiracy theories can make for good stories, some of which the Lemming has enjoyed. When someone starts believing that 'they' are plotting against 'us,' that's when it's not quite so entertaining.

The lizard men isn't something the Lemming made up, by the way. No, they're not real: but the 'lizard man conspiracy' was alive and well a few years ago. The Lemming used it as an example of silliness in another blog, and was so fond of the shape-shifting space-alien menace, that it's popped up fairly often since:

• "Lebanon, Israel, Pakistan, India, and the Lizard People"
  Another War-on-Terror Blog (January 14, 2009)
  Particularly
  • Someone to Blame

As for all those exclamation marks, and other formatting oddities? Thaat was supposed to be part of the humor. The Lemming's posted about sounding crazy before.

Somewhat-related posts:

• "How to Not Sound Crazy - or - THE PARANOIDS ARE AFTER ME!!!"
  (June 12, 2011)
• "Nuclear Weapons, Space Aliens, Conspiracy Theories, and Getting a Grip"
  (September 24, 2010)
• "Haiti's Earthquake Caused by - You Guessed it - Yankee Imperialists"
  (January 21, 2010)
• "The Neutrinos are Coming! 2012 and Hollywood Science"
  (November 16, 2009)
• "Want to be Paranoid, but Just Can't Find the Time?"
  (August 27, 2008)

SOPA: 20 Reasons Why It's a Really Bad Idea

"20 Ways SOPA Can Affect The Internet"
Info Carnivore (December 30, 2011)

"The Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) is now before the American Congress, waiting to be passed or not. With online piracy at an all time high, the US feels that it’s become almost impossible to manage traffic across borders. While the Congress ponders over this, the internet population is concerned as to how SOPA will affect the internet...."

The Lemming ranted about SOPA on Wednesday. Normally, there wouldn't be another post about the same topic for - maybe a week or more. In this case, the Lemming thinks a little repetition won't hurt.

SOPA may be well-intentioned, but the Lemming thinks that Congress should stop, take a deep breath, tear the thing up, and start over.

The Info Carnivore post is mostly a 20-point list about SOPA. It's not good news. Here's a sample:

Forget About Online Business, Freedom of Speech

"...1. Death Penalty For Online Businesses: SOPA authorizes sites that are reported for copyright infringement to be cut off from their domain name. ISPs can force advertisers and payment processors to suspend their services to the site...."

That "death penalty" phrase is a bit over-stated. The Lemming has heard or read nothing to indicate that business owners would actually be executed under SOPA provisions. Still, as a metaphor for driving a company out of business, it's appropriate.

"...6. Free Speech Rights Will Be Censored: Online businesses, user-generated content sites and social media sites will try to play it safe and start heavily censoring user content. This can stifle users’ free speech rights, making the internet a risky place to say anything at all...."

"It can't happen here?" The Lemming remembers McCarthyism and political correctness. Moving on.

'Who Needs a Trial?'

"...2. Sites Blocked And Sued For User Content: Sites which host copyright content uploaded by users can be blacklisted and blocked via ISPs, search engines and payment processors. This can be done without the benefit of a court hearing...."

Let's look at #2 again. Sites that host content uploaded by users can be driven offline. Maybe that doesn't sound so bad: SOPA is against pirates, right? Here's the problem: "...This can be done without the benefit of a court hearing...."

Let's look at a hypothetical situation. You wake up some morning, go online, and try to find something on CNET's Download.com. It's not there any more. Google reports that there's no such site. A few weeks, maybe months or years, later, you find out why. Somebody told the SOPA enforcers that something on Download.com was illegal. So the site was taken off the Internet.

Why bother with a trial?

Is that being alarmist? Maybe. But governments, governmental agencies, and officials have been known to do odd things.

The Info Carnivore post discusses what we can expect from SOPA:

1. Death Penalty For Online Businesses
2. Sites Blocked And Sued For User Content
3. Copyright Holders Can Sue Sites
4. Social Media Held Accountable
5. Small Tech Companies To Suffer
6. Free Speech Rights Will Be Censored
7. Downloading Free Content Will Become Risky
8. Legitimate Business Will Be Held Liable
9. Open Source Sites May Shut Down
10. DNS System Will Be Undermined
11. Internet Speeds May Slow Down
12. Downgrade Attacks Will Increase
13. Use Of Illegal Web Proxies Will Increase
14. Emergency Proxy Servers May Be Made Illegal
15. Streaming Sites Will Be Penalized
16. Online Album Sites Will Shut Down
17. Browsers Will Be Penalized
18. ISPs Will Infringe On Privacy
19. Legitimate Links Can Be Deleted
20. Browser Ability To Generate Fair Links Will Be Impacted

Pirated intellectual property is a real issue, one that should be addressed. But SOPA doesn't look like a solution.

Whether SOPA is an ill-considered effort to show how busy Congressional incumbents are, or an effort to grab control of what commoners may say or see on the Internet: SOPA looks like a really bad idea. For everybody except whoever winds up running it.

A tip of the Lemming's hat to danielsnyder1, on Twitter, for the heads-up on this post.

Related posts:

• "SOPA, Censorship, the Twits in Washington, and a Ranting Lemming"
  (December 28, 2011)
• "Lemming Tracks: Internet Freedom; or 'Be Careful What You Wish For' "
  (April 19, 2011)
• " 'Search Neutrality:' Deciding What We're Allowed to Find?"
  (January 22, 2011)
• "The Horror! Monster Comics that Scared Congress"
  (October 31, 2010)
• "Yogi Yorgesson's 'I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas' and the Hamms Bear"
  (December 15, 2009)

News and views:

• "20 Ways SOPA Can Affect The Internet"
  Info Carnivore (December 30, 2011)
• "Reddit Users to Target Supporters of SOPA in Congress After Successful Boycott of GoDaddy"
  Tech, Forbes, (December 28, 2011)
• "Online piracy a hot issue for Congress in January"
  Mike Snider, USA TODAY (December 28, 2011)
• "On Eve of Net Boycott, Dump GoDaddy Exodus Begins"
  Perry Chiaramonte, FoxNews.com (December 28, 2011)
• "What You Need to Know About SOPA in 2012"
  Dan Rowinski ReadWriteWeb (December 23, 2011)

New Year's Eve Celebration, and How to Survive It

"New Year's Eve Survival Guide"
Karlie Pouliot, FoxNews.com (December 29, 2011)

"New Year's Eve is not only one of the biggest nights of the year – but it can also be one of the most expensive if you're not careful. Believe me, my husband and I have made our share of pricey mistakes in the past. Just a few years ago, we were ringing in the New Year with friends in New York City, and had plenty of “backup” cash at the beginning of the night, but that quickly changed after we got overly excited and ordered a few too many bottles of champagne.

"You know how it goes when everyone is feeling all festive. The drinks are flowing and so is the money.

"Mistake No. 1: Ordering a bottle of champagne without looking at the price on the menu...."

The article is a pretty good common-sense guide for folks who go out on the town on New Year's Eve. Some of the advice is economic: like the 'champagne' anecdote. Which reminds the Lemming of the old saying: "If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

Moving on.

The next item was about economics and pedicabs: "a tricycle (usually propelled by pedalling); used in the Orient for transporting passengers for hire." (Princeton's WordNet) It's a sort of next-generation rickshaw, and apparently it isn't 'demeaning' to earn a living with one these days. And that's another topic.

The rest is a sort of Q and A, done in collaboration with New York Magazine's nightlife editor, Vanita Salisbury. It gives advice on champagne, taxis, designated drivers, more champagne, wine, still more champagne, bars, dinner, hors d'oeuvres, and why you should carry lots of cash.

Drink - WATER?!

There's also, mercifully, this paragraph:

"...Remember to drink water. This serves three purposes: 1. You consume less booze, thereby spending less cash 2. You stay hydrated 3. You'll temper the massive hangover that will inevitably come the next day. You can find some tips for dealing with hangovers here...."

With respect to the long-standing tradition of getting bombed, boozed, buzzed, inebriated, loaded, looped, muddled, plastered, potted, sloppy, smashed, tanked, three sheets to the wind, and sincerely under the influence, on the night of December 31: the Lemming suggests that waking up with hairy eyeballs and a furry tongue may not be worth it.

There's the 'never touch the stuff' approach. And that old standby: know your limit, and stay under it. Designated drivers are a good idea, too. Nothing takes the shine off a celebration quite like ending up in a morgue.

The Lemming on New Year's Eve

On most New Year's Eves, the Lemming joins the noisy throng in New York City's Times Square, and watches the big Waterford crystal ball go down. Virtually joins the throng that is: via television.

It's a great deal less expensive, much less chilly, and probably as much fun as actually being there. For the Lemming. Quite a few folks seem to prefer being there, physically.

Apart from a virtual trip to the Big Apple, the Lemming may call up some recorded entertainment, sit back, and remember the will be that was. That would make a great title for a book: and did, back in 1987. And that's another topic.


Remembering the will be that was.

Related posts:

• "Hangovers: Prevention and 'Cures' "
  (January 1, 2011)
• "Lemming Tracks: Happy New Year, 2011!"
  (January 1, 2011)
• "Times Square, New York City, Big Waterford Crystal Ball and Lots of People"
  (January 1, 2009)
• "Auld Lang Syne: Thank You, Robert Burns"
  (December 31, 2008)
• "New Year Tech: New Lights Over Times Square"
  (December 30, 2007)