Planet X, NASA, and the Lizard People From Outer Space

"Apocalypse Not Now: 2012 Doomsday Predictions Debunked by NASA"
Charles Q. Choi, Space.com (December 30, 2011)

"On Dec. 21, 2012, many doomsday believers fear the apocalypse — anything from a rogue planet smashing into us to our world spinning end over end. However, the world should expect nothing more next year than the winter solstice, the longest night of the year, NASA says.

"Many people point to the end of the Mayan Long Count calendar on Dec. 21, 2012 as evidence of the coming apocalypse, but astronomers have been quick to stress that there is nothing to be concerned about.

"According to the ancient Mayan calendar, next year's winter solstice marks the end of a 144,000-day cycle. This cycle, which begins at the mythical Maya creation date, has already been repeated 12 times. The 13th will end in 2012, capping a full 5,200-year Mayan cycle of creation...."

Mayan calendar makers notwithstanding, the Lemming isn't concerned about December 21, 2012. Using the same logic, the world has already ended twice: December of 999, and again in 1999, using our Gregorian calendar.

Using the Mayan calendar has the advantage of being relatively unfamiliar, so let's go with that. The world has, or will, end:

• August 11, 3114 BC
  • When the Mayan 'long count' last started
  • More or less
• December 23, 2012
• Spring, 7138
• Summer, 12263
• Autumn 17388
• And so on

The Mayan long count may have started on August 13, and the Lemming went over that in another blog:

• "Commie Plots, Cholesterol, Frank Burns, Hugo Chavez, and 2012"
  Another War-on-Terror Blog (November 15, 2009)

Nibiru, NASA, and the Lizard People

The rest of the Space.com article covers what NASA has to say about some of the elaborations on '2012 doomsday' that folks have come up with:

• Planet X
  • Or Nibiru
  • Not to be confused with "Plan 9 from Outer Space"
• Cosmic alignments
  • But no mystic crystal revelations, apparently
• Solar storms
  • Hollywood's done this already
• Flip-flop Earth
  • A little truth to this one
    • Very little
• Cosmic impacts
  • Comets
  • Asteroids
  • And all that
  • Again, a little truth to this one

Saying that 2012 won't be much more than the year that keeps 2011 from bumping into 2013 is rather dull, though, so the Lemming suggests something spicier. Not more sensible, or accurate: but arguably more exciting.

That Space.com article is part of a vast conspiracy, involving NASA, punk rock, and shape-shifting, space-alien lizard men.



It's 'obvious:' shape-shifting lizard men from outer space have taken over key parts of Earth's governments and cultural institutions!

That's why we got punk rock, the Beatles, and Willie Nelson!!

Look at British royalty and VIPs: does anyone really believe those are humans??!!!

How could Earth's humans possibly have missed the growing lizard man menace?!!!!

They have been twisting human minds for years: with pop music; weird fashions; hair spray; and infomercials!!!!!

Only a few perceptive, courageous, voices cried out: alerting the populace to this scaly menace from the stars!!!!!!

And, one by one, THESE VOICES HAVE BEEN SILENCED!!!!!!!

It's been mere weeks since new Oddly Enough blog posts mysteriously ceased!!!!!!!!

The Oddly Enough blog actually isn't being updated any more: but that's hardly 'mysterious.' Reuters decided they'd had enough of Mr. Basler's posts: or is Reuters part of the conspiracy, too?

Seriously?

'Nibiru, NASA, and the Lizard People' is humor.

Of the tongue-in-cheek sort.

That's what the Lemming intended, at least. Your experience may vary.

Conspriacy Theories: Okay for Stories

Conspiracy theories can make for good stories, some of which the Lemming has enjoyed. When someone starts believing that 'they' are plotting against 'us,' that's when it's not quite so entertaining.

The lizard men isn't something the Lemming made up, by the way. No, they're not real: but the 'lizard man conspiracy' was alive and well a few years ago. The Lemming used it as an example of silliness in another blog, and was so fond of the shape-shifting space-alien menace, that it's popped up fairly often since:

• "Lebanon, Israel, Pakistan, India, and the Lizard People"
  Another War-on-Terror Blog (January 14, 2009)
  Particularly
  • Someone to Blame

As for all those exclamation marks, and other formatting oddities? Thaat was supposed to be part of the humor. The Lemming's posted about sounding crazy before.

Somewhat-related posts:

• "How to Not Sound Crazy - or - THE PARANOIDS ARE AFTER ME!!!"
  (June 12, 2011)
• "Nuclear Weapons, Space Aliens, Conspiracy Theories, and Getting a Grip"
  (September 24, 2010)
• "Haiti's Earthquake Caused by - You Guessed it - Yankee Imperialists"
  (January 21, 2010)
• "The Neutrinos are Coming! 2012 and Hollywood Science"
  (November 16, 2009)
• "Want to be Paranoid, but Just Can't Find the Time?"
  (August 27, 2008)