Excuses, Excuses: Really Stupid Excuses

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Excuses so bad, they're funny. That's one big graphic, 750 pixels wide by 1860 high.

Some of my favorites:

• "Vanishing Twin." (Tyler Hamilton)
• "I was told that I should shoplift. My director said I should try it out." (Winona Ryder)
• "Nude Massage." (Chuck Robb)